Paper Planes

"Then one day you look in the rearview mirror of your existence and realize that you can see clear down the hill-less,curveless and bridgeless road of your life" its not true,when i looked back i saw.Life has been some combination of fairy-tale coincidence and  some hurtful self-questioning. i realized that at some point in our lives,usually during  the early days of our youth...we become paper planes...

Drifted by our ravenous desires,we glide..glide far away into the air till we fall down...at those puerile times we envisage ourselves as jets and concords but infact we are mere paper planes...We glide aimlessly,change our direction by our modifying fascinations..


Then there comes a time when the current suddenly becomes strong,we feel stalwartness in our fragile paper wings,think that it is our very own strength but the truth is just the opposite..The desires driving us get stronger and we gain altitude with the zephyr of luck.
We visualize ourselves as a spirited bird who can have a flight beyond limits...till we meet the  inexorable fate of all paper planes,the wind stops,we stall,go round and round and fall nosedown into the dirt....

At other times,or i must say most of the times,our desires drive us into the wrong direction and we smash our heads against the unshakable wall of reality...

Only then we realize the true meaning of our lives,our lives are defined by opportunities..even the ones we miss.To believe that life is a hill-less,curveless and bridgeless road is to live in a fool's paradise. The road is full of potholes,its full of twists and turns and has no two directions..just like Reuel Tolkien wrote in the lord of the rings...

The Road goes ever on and on.
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
and we must follow,if we can.
Pursuing it with eager feet,Until it joins some larger way.
Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.....

"NUMB"

Cold he seemed...silent like a grave..standing infront of the mirror..Ali stared in his own eyes for a while,then lowered his gaze,couldn't confront himself...his life was a story of tribulations,one after another...who can withstand the pain of a friend so dear,laying dead in his arms..he thought...Just when he thought his life was coming together,he realized it was just starting to fall apart..People may have taken him
as an epitome of happiness...infact he was many things but a "happy man" was not one of those things...
anguish piled up fast...

He was a hell of an actor...he had never let the people see that bleeding face behind the mask of those halcyon emotions...but the mirror of his composure was about to shatter..It seemed  that the harder he tried the harder he fell...It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothings right.

The man he once was...was long gone....what remained of the man was a hollow reflection of himself staring at the mirror...a couple of tear drops broke the barrier of his eyelids and rolled down his cheeks as if they were happy to leave this cursed wretch...he stood still,filled with emptiness,his heart was throbbing as if it also wanted to breakout of his chest....

The cold gale rushed in through the broken window..there was a storm outside...but a far greater blizzard of memories and regrets was blowing inside that man....he could not feel the chilled air...infact he was too numb to feel anything...unable to feel the love,care or hatred of the people around him....he wanted to feel something...

He planned to end his life...took a knife and slashed his radial artery...at first  the blood beaded up in a perfectly crimson dotted line..then the warm blood ran down his pale skin...his mind was at ease now,he didn't stop..he made the cut deeper and deeper..blood pooled around him...a piece of paper was tightly clenched in his fist....while dying in the pool of his own blood his last wish was fulfilled..he wasn't numb anymore..He felt COLD!

ok.enough with the drama...
Such a coward douche!!!!

Ali's point of view before committing suicide ....

The pain that depression brings is one that presses your senses down a passageway so narrow that it makes death look like the only light at the end of the tunnel. It is such an all-consuming and downright fucking ouchies reverie that it physically hurts your person. It is a tangible pain, like an itch, and it leads you to believe that,the end is your only friend. While thoughts of suicide are irrational and inherently counter-intuitive, they are true, and they are real.Seeking one’s own death makes sense to a depressive mind, and is a train of thought very easily rationalised. Its emotional power defies logic, and is able to make suicide, not only like a viable option, but a reasonable one. The only one.

But that doesn’t change a cotton picking thing.

While it is irrational and real and seen as reasonable by the depressed person in question, it is still selfish. I see no use trying to refute this point. Through death, you will cause the people you love, and who love you, a hell of a lot of pain. By releasing yourself of the pain you feel you are inflicting it onto those you care about. Again, this is selfish. There are no ifs or buts about it.

THE AFTERLIFE:

Mr.Ali thought suicide would bring his peace and quite but instead there is even more tension around him now. There are other spirits around him. They are those who have also done the same thing that he did. They belong to the group that is labelled as "Rebels" in the system called "Karma". When others continued to live (perform their Karma) and go on with the battle of life ...Ali and all other spirits around him quit life thinking that was the end of life. Instead now Ali and his "friends" feel that they have jumped from the frying pan into the fire....

The greatest problem after suicide!

Now I am going to tell you the worst thing about a suicide which Mr Ali never thought of. Due to extraordinary anxieties Ali committed suicide. He is a  loser by nature.

But now life has become unbearable again..the everlasting torment... The question is how will Mr Ali solve the new problems. One suggestion is he can try suicide again which though may naturally come to his mind because he has done that before. But the problem is he has already given up his body....

Problems increased with suicide

All those who are prone to suicide must know that the soul is eternal and there is no point committing suicide. Suicide brings about additional problems.Rebirth is not possible because everyone has just a single turn.

AIi wants to smoke because he used to smoke at least 10 cigarettes a day but now he cannot do that.  He has all the feelings and emotions but without the body it is terrible because he cannot vent it out.

He thinks of what his lover is doing at the moment, may be she was meeting her lover but now things are simple beyond him as he cannot stop that. At least if he had the body he would have a great chance of winning her back but now he is helpless. His chances are zero. Who would want to romance with a spirit without a body? :)

Curse...

Because he threw away his body,  he gets into the bad books of God who gave him this precious gift that can never be made with all the wealth in in the universe. Moreover he has defeated the purpose of his parents. Whatever they did to Ali has all gone waste. He is now hated by all others. Suicide is cowardice. The world does not like cowards.  The world loves those who fight until their destined time comes.,,
Of the many quotes that I found on Suicide the following poetical lines caught my attention.

“Razors pain you; 
Rivers are damp; 
Acids stain you; 
And drugs cause cramp. 
Guns aren’t lawful; 
Nooses give way; 
Gas smells awful; 
You might as well live.”

Still if anyone wants to end his "misery"....try this..it would be fun ;)

Knight In The Shining Armour

Thou tomb of summer

Vaulting its great might

Threshold of sorrows

Into view of end a bite

Descending leaves fall to the ground,

Twirling, twisting, round and round,

 Dilapidated souls- crunchy leaves

 Picturesque of thy might

 Dancing flames of fire

 Singing death even bright

Beneath those trees

 rambles a man

 To succumb like summer

 seemed his plan

He is  walking on the autumn leaves

Memories...perishing under his feet

 His heart deviod of blame and cheat

 Knows to bleed but forgets to beat

 Ambling alone in this lonely street

Scorching sun,he cant  bear the heat

Such a pity, he cant yell

Deep cracks.... in his shell

Its a verity some wounds never heal

The scars revealed,not always real

In heart remains the  slash concealed

Still smile on lips,why this ordeal

Pain is skin that cant b shed

A fathomless river one cant tread

As he wanders alone,he bleeds inside

Tears roll down,that he cant hide

Prepares himself to fight a fight

Against his heart with all his might

Alone in murk he cried his tears

For anguish that heaped in all those years

But he was'nt always desolate like this

For a time of his life he knew true bliss

Before all this,he was a real charmer

Just like a knight..in a shining armour

Feeling lost,now he cant cope

In strife for life,he lost his hope

Look at his face,no emotions,its pale

Just pain and tears which left a trail

Lurching,stumbling he reached the cliff

Yes its shore,he could sniff the whiff

Tired,jaded...and a  hope to be free

He gave himself to the frantic sea

(farhan) 

Facing The Music

Standing alone in a crowd of people
That storm in hearts was mere a ripple
Staring at their Sculpted faces
Hubristic,egotistic sheen traces

Discerned the truth beneath their lies
Saw the world with befuddled eyes
Negated himself to prove them correct
Yet in their mind he lacked self respect



There he stood,a devastated soul
Forgot his Ambition,forgot his goal
Dragged by devil in murky streets
His life became so full of cheats



He cursed the ones who left him alone
Reached a stream when aurora shone
And gazed the water in despair
For his face was no less filthy than theirs!

(farhan)

No girls and i am losing my teens

"I've written this poem in response to a challenge from my friend ..i hope you will enjoy it.. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious...This is meant for Educational purposes only... Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental :p"

so here we go...

Oh God! No girls and i am losing my teens
Ravenous for "the hot shot" since my eighteenth
I wore a suit and some gaudy looking jeans
In pursuit of adulation from my dream's queen

I m so shy...............i don't know why
My every friend has a gf so i have to try
I gotta get a girl before Feb 10th
All i need is a smidgen of strength

The girls in my class are all too fat or lean
Still they envisage themselves as beauty queens
Of loving beauty they all float with grace
If only they could just hide their face

Well I'll make a few exceptions
I cant break hearts
Some are really cute
And a few really smart

It happened just once
I endeavored  to win a heart
With my eyes wide shut
In dark i threw the dart

Its a few days back
That i saw this gorgeous girl
Disguised as a dewdrop
In those red rose's whorl

Her waving brown hair
Oh God!! Those curls
I felt like "Jack sparrow"
And reckoned her as my "pearl"




As i approached her stumbling
My heart skipped a beat
I breathed some air
And tried to sound neat

I said............Oh!!!  the princess of my dreams
If other girls are milk,then you are the cream

Roses are red,
 violets are blue,
 sugar is sweet,
 and so are you.

She replied....Oh!! my boy
Kind, intelligent, loving, and hot
Describe everything that you are not

 Your roses are wilting,
Your violets are dead,
 the sugar bowl's empty,
 and so is your head.

With pain in my heart, tears in my eyes
(damn, I'm so good at telling lies )
My feelings for her now,no words can tell
Except for the may be....."Go to hell"

Being single now
seems my fate
I am the only one left
Without a soul mate

My friends brainstorm me
Like they really care
But none of them is single
And this is not FAIR


(farhan)

Life is a Song

Life is a song...

A song for the living

And Death, for the dead.

Let life be like music.

And death, a note unsaid!

Far far away, there was a man who, in his bewilderment,

perceived life as a dark and storming sea;

all the peple are chained to their past

and he is sinking fast to the depths of this abysmal ocean of life.

But then he realized that the chains and shackles were not locking his limbs.

It was his mind in the unyielding clasp of these manacles.

He swam and swam

with his eyes closed, heart pounding and mind abased.

All he wanted was to get out of this atramentous ocean.

At times, he thought of letting it go nd meet his fate.

He thought he was of no use to the world and there was nothing left in his life.

At this very momemt a flash of a thought gleamed across his mind

And he told himself:

Dear me!

When something becomes “nothing”, it becomes "something".

"Nothing” is my reward for too much "something".

“Nothing” is my punishment for not enough "something".

He swam out.....half dead...

Opening his eyes, he found himself on the shore of a beautiful island

but then he realized the dilemma...

he had lost himself in the dark ocean.

What remained was a hollow reflection of himself, staring at the colossal island.

He realized that his convictions were actually his afterthoughts.

While he was in that stance, reconning if it was a dream,

there came a butterfly...

full of chromaticity...

every angelic colour of life was conspicuous in its wings...

He speculated that he would find HIMSELF on this island.

He followed that butterfly...

he had all credence in that very beautiful piece of God's magnum opus...

he thought that this creature can lead him to himself...

and he was right...

In search of himself,

he fell victim to the stereotypes of others.

He looked past the shores of circumstance

to find substance where truth and fiction change places at a whim

He reached out for answers to the questions that didn’t exist;
to find meaning in the ones that do.

He evolved neither out of chance nor fear, but to recognize his face in the mirror

.People told him life was a dream

where they couldn't explain what they mean.

Then finally, he understood what life is by his experience.

He now had the perspicacitythat life is not a monstrous ocean

but...

LIFE IS A SONG

Because in the beginning, there is mystery; in the end, there is confirmation; but it's in the middle where all the emotions reside to make the whole thing worthwhile...

Then he asked himself

"Who am I...???"

The reply was...

I am love, energy, and creativity.

I am a pure, blinding, compulsive joy that knows no bounds and spreads far and wide; infinitesimally small yet vast beyond comprehension.

Who I am has no container if you remove my physical, societal confines...

More importantly I am one of the chords of this song of life...

what are the other chords...??????

He told himself:

My loved ones.....

"Family","friends" and all those things I love...

Without these chords I can't complete my song because I alone am a single chord...

but when all of us are together,

we make a symphony, our influence can set off such a cacophony of incredibly positive energy that its chain reaction reaches farther than we likely will ever know....

My Life is a song

 A song is for the living

And Death, for the dead.

Let life be like music. 

And death, a note unsaid....

farhan..MBBS First yr..http://kemkellogs.blogspot.com